


Dead To The World (Or So I Wish)

by Stagcore



Series: Brotherly Bonding - Diego and Klaus [1]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crying, Diego is a Good Brother, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, M/M, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-11-19 03:27:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18130346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stagcore/pseuds/Stagcore
Summary: This is part one of a series! I'm gonna try different prompts and different ideas as I write for Diego and Klaus :)





	1. The Beginning

The dark wooden floor was hard underneath Klaus. For a few moments all he could do was stare up at the mouldy grey-white wood-chipped wallpaper on the ceiling as he came back to himself, trying to get his eyes to focus on what was before him. In places the paper had begun to peel off relieving blood red paint. The vision of the white wallpaper blurred as tears welled up in Klaus' eyes as a million thoughts ran through his head. Taking a deep breath in in a futile attempt to calm himself, Klaus moved his head to look around the room he passed out in and winced to himself. He had fallen unconscious on the floor enough times to know that it wasn't comfortable and he almost always woke up with a stiff neck. Bottles of alcohol littered the ground around him and a half empty bottle of pills were lying on the cold floor beside him. Flashes of memories from last night made themselves known and Klaus swallowed thickly. He remembered stumbling down the street looking for a dark alleyway to get drunk and wasted in. He stumbled on an abandoned house, relatively clean with no other squatters or drug addicts staying there. His pills rattled noisily in his pocket and his booze were a heavy weight in his arms as he finally jimmied his way into the house to set his things down and look around the rest of the house. That was when he found the knife and thought, hell, why not?

For a moment or two, Klaus tore his thoughts away from the events of that night and just tried to focus on breathing. The simple in and out and the rise and fall of his chest which seemed to require much more energy than it was worth. It took him several minutes to realise that there was someone sat cross legged on the floor next to him. Nearly outside of his peripheral vision so that he couldn't really see him without craning his neck and even then, he could only make out the bottom of a black leather boot. It's grips worn down like their owner had been running 

"Ben?" Klaus croaked out quietly. His throat felt as rough as sandpaper and the mix of stale air and the disgusting taste in his mouth made him want to vomit. Forcing down waves of nausea. Klaus barely noticed that Ben had gotten to his feet until the dusty, heavy curtains opened. Making Klaus groan and close his eyes against the sunlight. He listened to Ben's footsteps as he moves from the living room to the equally as dirty kitchen. _That's funny. Ben's footsteps don't make noise._ Klaus thought distantly. Either Ben had gotten a lot more powerful and had become able to touch the corporeal world whilst Klaus was unconscious or the person in the room was not Ben. A Kitchen tap was running somewhere in the distance and Klaus wished it could sooth him to sleep. He didn't want to deal with this. 

"Ben?" Klaus said again. This time his voice came out a little stronger though his throat still felt like it had been scratched with barbed wire. 

Finally a familiar voice answered Klaus. "It's Diego." If Diego was confused as to why his brother was calling out for their dead sibling, he kept it to himself which Klaus was thankful for. He didn't have it in him to explain that he had been seeing Ben since he had died and he certainly was not in the mood to have an argument with Diego as to why he never told them. 

Groaning. Klaus closed his eyes against the harsh world. Listening to Diego's footsteps approaching until they stopped beside him. _Great, this is just perfect. Time to get lectured about what a waste of space I am_ Klaus thought to himself bitterly, wishing he could sink through the floor.

"You need to drink some water," He said instead, catching Klaus off by surprised as he helped Klaus into a sitting position. Klaus could feel his brother's warmth through his thin t-shirt. Focusing on the weight of Diego's hand, it helped him come back to the land of the living, so to speak. Leaning heavily on the dirty couch that was covered in about a million different, disgusting things ranging from alcohol to blood to vomit to God knows what else. Klaus picked the glass up and gingerly sipped his water, not wanting to aggravate his already protesting stomach. Once the glass had been drained, Diego set it beside them and spoke again.

"You need to tell me what's going on with you."

Klaus just shook his head as he pulled his legs up to his body, his arms hugging them as if his existence could go by unnoticed by the universe. The weak sunlight that filtered through the grimy windows danced along his bare arms. In the light Diego could see what looked like either small stab wounds or cuts running up and down his brother's arms. Looking around the room, he found the offending item kicked under a small table out of reach. "I'm okay, Diego. There's more urgent things that you need to deal with than your fucked up junkie brother" Klaus murmured. Tears had filled his eyes again and he bowed his head under his arms as if he could curl up small enough that he could just disappear.

"Nothing's more important than my brother when he's hurting," Diego said as he sat down next to Klaus. Gently prompting him to tell him what was wrong.

"What's going on?" He asked again, quietly. Hoping it wasn't obvious that he wasn't sure how to help his brother. When they were children it was always Allison who was the comforter. This didn't come naturally to Diego but after losing Five and Ben, he knew he couldn't bare to lose Klaus too. It would break him

"I just..." Klaus began. His hands were scratching absent-mindedly at his arms, desperate for his hands to do. He always was the one that fidgeted the most, driving dad insane. "I feel so fucking numb and sad all the time. I'm just a useless fucked up junkie and I don't think I know how- I know I _can't_ change" He spoke quickly, his eyes watering. His eyeliner was smudged around his face, adding to the dark shadows under his eyes. Diego hoped that it could be fixed with a few nights of solid sleep and one or two good meals though deep down he knew he couldn't help the problem causing his brother's behaviour or feelings. A good nights sleep and talking about it wasn't going to fix the bigger problem of Klaus' addiction but it was worth it. Every bit of kindness is worth it, even if Klaus ends up dead in an alleyway by the time he's 28.

"Oh, Klaus." Diego whispered, his heart breaking for his brother. Slowly extending his arm to Klaus, giving him the option to pull away or to protest, Diego put his arm around him. Not wanting Klaus to feel constricted or claustrophobic remembering how violently Klaus had lashed out when he was last hugged whilst coming off of a bad high.

"Let me help you," He said quietly as he gently removed Klaus' hands from scratching at his arms. He had opened up barely scabbed over wounds from the knife as well as making thin cuts along his thin arms. The blood beaded slowly and Diego observed Klaus as he watched, seemingly mesmerised by the blood as gathered at the surface of the thin, messy cuts. biting his bottom lip he pulled his gaze away from his arm and from Klaus.

"You can't help me. Nobody can" Klaus let out a dry, humourless chuckle.

"At least let me try?"

Nodding, Klaus tried not to cry when Diego moved away. The sudden loss of the comforting warmth made Klaus' skin prickle. 

"You can't stay here," Diego said as he outstretched his hand, offering to pull Klaus up off of the filthy floor. The room somehow looked worse than when Klaus had passed out in it the night before. "Come on, I'll take you to my place. Get you cleaned up"


	2. Chapter 2

"Fir-first thing's first. Cleaning your arms up" Diego said, trying to remain positive for his brother's sake as much as his own though he suspected that the attempt was either acknowledged and ignored or not acknowledged at all. Diego hadn't let go of Klaus' wrist since they had left the car. Klaus wanted to scoff and reassure his brother that he wouldn't run off but the gentle touch was comforting. 

Leading Klaus to the small bathroom, Diego sat him down on the bath next to the sink as he ran the water. Klaus' skin was so pale that it looked nearly translucent in the yellow artificial glow of the bathroom lights, his blue veins standing out. Klaus was being uncharacteristically quiet which just served to worry Diego more. Despite what him and the rest of his siblings say, it was much better when Klaus was talking than when he wasn't. Even when he was drunk or high as a kite, if Klaus was muttering his usual nonsense it meant that all was right in the world. Klaus wasn't one to show people how he felt, he never was but the contrast between the usual, happy, bubbly, flamboyant Klaus was stark against this glass-eyes, pale mute one. It scared the shit out of Diego.

Under the brighter light of the Diego's bathroom, he could examine what Klaus had done to himself. Diego knew that once Klaus had been doing what Dad had called "special training" Klaus had begun to become more reckless with himself. A few times, Diego had caught sight of angry red lines carved across his shoulders and upper arms. Klaus had shaken it off and insisted that he dropped the subject. And so Diego did. Even when a few of his knives went 'missing' for a few days or Klaus was quieter and groggier than usual, his pupils blown unnaturally wide. Jesus did he regret that now as he looked down at his brother's scared arms. Some looked old and some where brand new, either way it made the hairs on the back of the knife thrower's neck stand on end. Klaus was hurting this much and he didn't even notice. Not that he had been in the picture that much since everyone went their separate ways. Taking Klaus' wrist carefully, Diego worked in silence. Examining the wounds and carefully sponging away dirt and dried blood and applying antiseptic cream. Klaus' arm's were a thin and light weight in his hands. Making Diego worry that he'd leave marks if he held on too tightly to his brother. The only sound in the house was a muffled hiss of pain every now and then and the ticking of a clock from a nearby room. 

"Klaus, talk to me." Diego caved and broke the silence that threatened to suffocate the pair of them. His voice sounded too loud to his own ears, like the delicate, mournful peace between them was as thin as ice on a deep pond that Diego resented the thought of shattering. Looking to his brother, he saw that the far away look in his eyes had been replaced by something else. Frustration and a bone deep tiredness that seemed to seep from him. 

With a roll of his head, Klaus shut his eyes and when he opened them, he spoke as he looked to the ceiling. Diego was quickly reminded of another time when he had done that motion. Diego had questioned Klaus as to why he wasn't at dinner and with a nonchalant expression Klaus had just rolled his head to the ceiling and told Diego that he just wasn't hungry. They were children then but they were adults now. Klaus needed to open up and realise that he couldn't face this battle alone. That he needed people, even if he didn't fully realise it yet.

"Do you know how long it's been since we last spoke?" Before Diego could reply. Klaus let out a little chuckle and leaned forward, his eyes fixing on Diego's. "It's been six months since I've spoken to you or to anyone else in that dysfunction mess we call a family"

Diego swallowed thickly and averted his gaze away from Klaus' calm anger. He knew it had been wrong to ignore and ostracise Klaus from his life but ever since breaking things off with Eudora time and responsibility escaped him. No, that was making excuses for his behaviour. Truth was, they had been excluding Klaus from their lives since they were children.

"I want to change that," Diego says some time later. The first aid kit had been tidied away and now they were looking at each other from across the small bathroom. Klaus sat on the edge of the bath and Diego sat on the toilet seat. Klaus was reluctant to look Diego in the eyes. Instead he seemed fixated on the floor 

"I wan't to change that but I can't help you if I don't know you're hurting"

Klaus chuckles at that though it is devoid of humour and raised his head to look at his brother. "Seriously, Diego? Ever since we were kids you knew I was hurting." He spits out venomously. Somehow the fact that Klaus hasn't raised his voice once throughout the whole conversation makes Diego feel worse. Like Klaus was at peace with his upbringing and how he was treated. "But, hey. I appreciate the sentiment anyways." He says. His hands coming up to rub at his smudged makeup. The dark smudged on his face was a stark contrast with the pale pallor of his skin. _He always wanted to be a vampire when we were little,_ Diego mussed to himself. 

"The thought of losing you terrifies me," Diego confesses as he grabs a blue washcloth from beside the sink and gently sponges at his brother's eyes. Trying to clean up most of the eyeliner.

Klaus doesn't reply to that. Instead he just hums and murmurs "This is the gentlest I've ever seen you be." All the previous anger seemed to have left his body.

Diego thinks he might be right.


End file.
